A break up is not easy but what makes it even harder to deal with his when your ex decided to X you out of their life completely. Knowing you may not be in a relationship with someone you love is hard to handle but when you cant even talk to them it can make life almost unbearable.
If you are using break up advice to get your ex back then getting your ex to talk to you can be one of the most challenging things to over come while trying to save a relationship. I am going to give you break up advice that will tell you exactly why your ex lover would do this and how to make them want to talk to you again.
Break Up Advice – What Motivates People To Interact With Someone Or The Environment
People will do things out of pleasure,comfort,pain,or pressure. Behind everything people do is one of those factors. If you make someone do something out of pleasure they will keep coming back to you. If you make someone do something out of comfort they will listen to you more. If you make someone do something out of pain they will not want to listen to you again. If you make someone do something out of pressure they will X you out of their life.
People will have 1 of 2 perceived perspectives about you. Now depending on which one they see you as will determine if they will want to see you or talk to you. The two perspectives are a negative perceived perspective and a positive perceived perspective. In the break up advice below i will define what both of these mean.
Negative Perceived Perspective: When someone has a negative perceived perspective they will associate pain or pressure with a person or thing. When someone perceives a person or thing like this they will want to stay away to avoid further pain or pressure.
An example would be if someone lies to you, cheats on you, or hurts you in anyway. Once this is done, when you hear the persons name or see them you will feel pain or pressure and this will make you want to avoid any confrontation with them.
Another example would be if a restaurant gives you food poisoning after you eat there. You may not want to eat there again because of the bad experience you have. Now you will not want to go back there and you may talk bad about the restaurant to friends. In this piece of break up advice i am giving you it should help you make sense why your ex does not want to talk to you because they have a negative perceived perspective about you.
Positive Perceived Perspective: When someone has a positive perceived perspective they will associate that person with comfort and pleasure. This will make someone want to talk to that person because when they are around them they feel comfortable and being around this person makes them feel good. The pleasure i am talking about is pleasure you get from being able to talk to someone about anything, not sex or physical pleasure.
An example of a positive perceived perspective would be when you keep going to the same restaurant or grocery store. You would keep going to the store because you feel really comfortable being at the store and you feel good knowing that the products you buy will be good.
Another example would be when your around your best friend. You can talk to your friend about anything because you know they completely accept you and you feel no pressure coming from them. As you hang out with your friend and talk to them you feel complete comfort. As you spend time with them you feel really good because as your talking you are talking about positive things that you both enjoy. There for you have a positive perceived perspective about your friends. If you understand this break up advice then you will see that your ex would talk to you if they had a positive perceived perspective about you.
Break Up Advice – Why Your Ex Does Not Talk To You
Your ex is not talking to you because they have a negative perceived perspective of you. Since the break up you have done something that created a lot of pain and pressure. If you begged, pleaded, cried,sent your ex 100′s of text messages, call your ex more then once before they have a chance to get back to you, and if you did not agree with the break up then you created pressure and possibly pain.
Break Up Advice – How To Make Your Ex Talk To You Again
In order to make your ex talk to you again you have to change the perspective they have of you from negative to positive. How do you do this? The first thing you can do is R.A.P (relieve all pressure) and you can do that by changing your break up from a non mutual break up to a mutual break up.
If your ex wants to break up then let them know you accept it. If your ex wants to be friends then let your ex know you also accept that. If your ex wants space then give it to them. By agreeing with your ex it will relive a lot of pressure and make them feel more comfortable around you because now you want the same thing instead of wanting something different. Once you have apply this break up advice and relieved some of the pressure you will start to create comfort.
The next step would be to talk to your ex or see your ex after you have used the break up advice to relieve some of the pressure. If you have made the break up mutual then when you go to communicate with your ex it should make things easier because you have relieved some of the pressure and created some comfort. When you call or see your ex you are going to want to use my tactic called…
The Positive Perceived Perspective Technique
When you use this tactic it will make your ex or anyone want to talk to you know matter how pissed off or upset they are. Keep in mind when you use this follow the steps below and apply it right when they pick up the phone before they have a chance to say anything!
1. Sweetest Sound/ Name
2. Respect/ I understand your busy with…
3. Benefit/ I know this would make you…
4. Respect/ Do you have a few minutes
5. Talk About Benefit
6. End It/I got to go and so do you
7. Leave It Open/ How about i call you some time IN THE FUTURE
“Hi (ex), this is (your name). I know your busy right now with (what they are normally busy with) and i respect that. I am calling you because i wanted to talk to you about (something that will benefit them or they will like) and i know it will benefit you and make you feel better then you are feeling right now …Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“Well, i want to tell you about (benefit). I thought you should know (explain the benefit)…”
This technique always works! Why? Because the first thing you say is their name to get their attention, you are respecting them when they feel like you may not, your giving them a reason to WANT to talk to you, and your respecting them again by showing you value their time.
After your done sharing the benefit end the conversation and leave it open like this…
“It was nice talking to you and i would like to continue talking to you but i have to get back to (a goal your working on) and i know you may have to get back to (what they are busy doing) …So how about i give you a call sometime in the FUTURE just to see how things are going with (what they enjoy or a goal they are working on)?”
By doing what i have said you will have changed their negative perspective to a positive perspective. So next time you go and call them or see them they should feel a lot better talking to you next time. Now your ex will be willing to talk to you again and they may even contact you now. Make sure you do not try this technique no earlier then 4 weeks after the break up and make sure the conversation is only 5 minutes! Apply this break up advice and i am sure it will help you with your ex and who ever else you try and use this on.
If you want me to teach you more of my advanced tactics that me and my clients call…
“Innocent Manipulation To Instant Attraction”
…And If you want me teach you what attraction is, how its created, and the process to make ANYONE fall in love with you. I will coach you one on one but ONLY if you are serious about working with me. Feel free to give me a call at my personal phone number below.
Edited: March 9th, 2011