Comment from Bryan
September 26, 2009 at 10:44 am

this really helps clear things up. I never thought of love and hate as not opposites. Thanks for the vid.

Comment from Lauren
November 15, 2009 at 1:58 pm

Looking back it… I think he was indifferent. He was calm, not heated during the talk, while I was crying and doing everything else

Comment from Thomas Trumen
November 15, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Hi Lauren
This does not necessarily mean that he was being indifferent. I would not jump to a conclusion just yet. He could have just been acting like this just to get you to calm down. Do not decide if he is being indifferent unless he was like that for the last week or two before the break up. If he was like that before the break up then it could be a sign that he was feeling indifferent.

But, i would keep that thought in the back of your mind. When you get a chance to meet up for your first outing and if he still acts like that. Then that is a good sign that he has lost all feelings for you for the time being. If this is the case then i would recommend that your move on and just stay in contact.

Comment from kathy
November 20, 2009 at 9:56 am

hi thomas!
just one quick question, after i go out on 3 outings with my ex, should i ask him out on a date explicitely?? i mean is he supposed to know it will be a date? or should i just ask him to hang out with me?

Comment from Thomas Trumen
November 20, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Hi Kathy,

No do not say “lets go out on a date” that will just kill the mood. It would be like if you are in bed with someone and you both are naked. Then you say “can i have sex with you.?”

My point is that, Just go do it! Ask your ex out again but do it the same way you did it for the outings. Just make it longer and do more things. While you are out he will realize him self that it has now become a date because its longer and not as casual.

“Go With The Flow”

Comment from kathy
November 21, 2009 at 1:34 pm

thank u so much for your quick response!!! and again thanks for the advise, what would i do without u? LOL

Comment from stephen
December 29, 2009 at 11:31 am

hi thomas we,ve been split up now for 8 weeks into the 4th week i started the no contact the break up have been all over the xmas period i feel really bad that ive not contacted her we were together for 11 years she has two boys who ive brought up i feel so guilty i did not contact them did i do the right or wrong thing many thanks steve.

Comment from Thomas Trumen
December 29, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Hi Stephen, You could have called or sent a card but either way you will be ok. I will want to send the second chance letter in a about another week so you can see if you can get her to contact you.

Comment from Shelly
May 17, 2010 at 9:29 am

Hi Thomas. My ex went from the love you, marry me, cant live without you to I need to focus on me literally overnight. We were planning a getaway, he went to a business meeting and told me after he was having a “moment” and needed to do some thinking. The next day he says he needs to focus on himself, his business and that Im a distraction. There were no I hate yous, no yelling just a repetitive I have to do this and stick to it. The closest he got to a yell was a stern “I cant give you the attention you need right now” and that was it. I did the terror texting, I admit it before finding you and tdubs site, sometimes he would respond but usually not. If he responded at all it would be to tell me how frustrated he was about his job or tell me what a bad mood he was in. I wrote him a couple emails and before we broke up I had sent him a gift (he is in canada, me the usa) He sent me a Thanks, it was nice. Im taking this as indifference…please tell me what you think. Thank you, your videos are great. I have the MOMU system but videos help so much to go along with it.